How White Men Fight

I have never known Tucker to be right.

(I’m trying to be nice, so this time I’ve spelled it the way he does, with a T at the front.)

He’s right, though, in this one case, to say that just getting numbers on your side is not the only step White Men take when preparing for a fight. Here are some common approaches White Men have used to improve the odds for victory.

Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris (school)

The perpetrators of the Columbine High School shooting in 1999 deployed a variety of firearms and explosives during their attack. According to official reports and evidence gathered during the investigation, they carried the following weapons:

  1. Intratec TEC-9 semi-automatic handgun
  2. Stevens 311D double-barrel sawed-off shotgun
  3. Savage 67H pump-action shotgun
  4. Hi-Point 995 Carbine rifle
  5. 9mm carbine rifle (manufactured by Harrington & Richardson

In addition to these firearms, Klebold and Harris also constructed numerous improvised explosive devices (IEDs) using propane tanks, gasoline, and other materials.

Dylan and Eric? “White”

Dylan Root (church)

According to reports and evidence from the investigation, Root used a .45 caliber Glock 41 semi-automatic handgun to carry out the attack. He also had several magazines of ammunition with him.

Dylan? “White”

James Holmes (theatre)

James Holmes, the perpetrator of the Aurora theater shooting in 2012, used several firearms and explosives during his attack. According to reports and evidence from the investigation, Holmes carried the following weapons:

  1. Remington Model 870 shotgun
  2. Smith & Wesson M&P15 semi-automatic rifle (pictured above)
  3. Glock 22 .40 caliber handgun
  4. Glock 23 .40 caliber handgun (pictured below)

Holmes also had several high-capacity magazines and a large quantity of ammunition with him. In addition to these firearms, he also used tear gas canisters and explosive devices, which he had set up in the theater beforehand.

James? “White”

Stephen Paddock (outdoor concert)

Stephen Paddock, the perpetrator of the 2017 Las Vegas shooting, used several firearms during his attack. According to reports and evidence from the investigation, Paddock carried and fired the following weapons:

  1. Multiple AR-15 style rifles, including some that had been modified with bump stocks to simulate automatic fire
  2. Multiple high-capacity magazines that allowed him to fire hundreds of rounds without reloading
  3. Multiple handguns, including a .38-caliber revolver and a 9mm semi-automatic pistol

Stephen? “White”

Adam Lanza (school)

  1. Bushmaster XM15-E2S semi-automatic rifle (pictured below)
  2. Glock 20SF 10mm semi-automatic handgun
  3. Sig Sauer P226 9mm semi-automatic handgun

Adam? “White”

Devin Kelley (church)

Devin Kelley, the perpetrator of the Sutherland Springs church shooting in 2017, used a Ruger AR-556 semi-automatic rifle during his attack. According to reports and evidence from the investigation, Kelley purchased the rifle in April 2016 from an Academy Sports + Outdoors store in San Antonio, Texas. He had modified the rifle by removing its original stock and replacing it with a “skull” or “spade” style stock.

Devin? “White”

Patrick Crusius (Walmart)

The WASR-10 is a variant of the AK-47 rifle, and it fires 7.62x39mm cartridges from a detachable magazine.

Patrick? “White”

Robert Aaron Long (spa)

BTW, Robert said this here:

“Pizza, guns, drums, music, family, and God. This pretty much sums up my life. It’s a pretty good life…”

Robert? “White”

Payton Gendron (grocery store)

Bushmaster XM-15

Payton? “White”

I know that Tucker disapproved of the fight he saw and would love for him to have the opportunity to show the world how it should be done. In fact, although he’s got twelvish years on me, I hereby volunteer to assist in a one-on-one demonstration–as long as there are no weapons and no one to stop it if it goes too far. Who knows, maybe together we could help teach White Men to STOP fighting like White Men, make the world a safer place.

Etymology Anyone? Or in this case, why use quotation marks on White?

white (adj.)

Old English hwit “bright, radiant; clear, fair,” also as a noun (see separate entry), from Proto-Germanic *hweit- (source also of Old Saxon and Old Frisian hwit, Old Norse hvitr, Dutch wit, Old High German hwiz, German weiß, Gothic hveits), from PIE *kweid-o-, suffixed form of root *kweit- “white; to shine” (source also of Sanskrit svetah “white;” Old Church Slavonic sviteti “to shine,” svetu “light;” Lithuanian šviesti “to shine,” švaityti “to brighten”).