Dear Don Letter #2

Dear Don,

Ever see that old SNL bit that Adam Sandler did where he was a cable channel travel correspondent? It was back in the days when the show was less sad.

Adam would travel to all these exotic desitnations, then file his report live on the air. It took the anchor aback, though, when Adam “reported” solely about what channels you could get on TV there. Obviously, it was one of those elitist anchor types who think that there’s, like, something wrong with relaxing once you get to your destination, checking to see what channel Fox is on, maybe digging a re-run of Hogan’s Heroes or some QVC. I remember being impressed by how many channels you could get in some of these countries that don’t even seem civilized.

Ooh, speaking of QVC, maybe Ivanka should have a show on there? I mean, hell with Nordstrom’s, right–who needs ’em?

Anyhoo, how many channels do you get there in the White House? Is the remote pretty easy to get used to? I understand if this information is confirdential, but  I think it’d be real interesting if you would tweet sometime about the realities of life in The White House.

I‘m assuming they have some kind of super smart-ass shower controller, right? I ask because this is something I wonder if you could look into, if not make great again. Here’s my 100% All-American beef: seems like every time I go to a Hotel, they’ve got some newfangled contraption my insufficiently caffeinated self has to try to figure out just to take a stinkin’ shower! Any way to do an executive order mandating a standardized gadget for that? I know this might involve eliminating two (2) other federal regulations, but what the hey? There must be 30,000 job-killing regs out there, am I right?

Lemme know if a letter-writing campaign or a protest or a gang of BTs (Beautiful Thugs) would help with this li’l project.

With all due respect,

Bad Thad

P.S. Tell K.A. not to let ’em get her down. Maybe some evening you could break away for a bit, invite Kellyanne down to the basement and bowl a few lines?